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Divorce
and communication
Recently, I attended a seminar about mediating relationships. I was expecting some new ideas regarding communication that I could use or pass along to you. Instead, the seminar was about divorce mediation. The idea that was stressed the most was that people who divorce usually break up because of lack of communication. During the divorce, if they have children, they find that they will have to communicate fairly often and maybe more clearly than when they were married. Keep working and keep trying to utilize better communication skills. Effective communication is enhanced by a good self esteem. It is so easy to become hurt by something that is said and not to clarify the statement. If you are stronger within yourself then it becomes somewhat easier to ask a person if you heard their statement correctly. Mediation allows each of the partners to talk about how they would like to see the children raised, how to divide the possessions, and of course, work out any money issues. It requires that both people be able to keep their emotions in check. That is not to say the emotions aren't there. But, they need to be worked out with a counselor. Mediation requires cooperation of both adults. People I have have done mediation with, have reported that it has been successful. Many of those people have come into talk over new issues which have arisen after several years. it is difficult to cover all issues. There are many issues spelled out precisely. For instance: pick up times, holidays, expenses, as well as, other issues that are pertinent to each individual's needs. Mediation allows the couple to dissolve the marriage. Since a couple decides to become married, in the beginning, it only makes sense that the couple needs to prepare to undo the marriage. Although divorce is not ideal, it can be tolerable. The children can see that their parents are working together for their well being. It is so important that the children be protected and allowed to thrive. It is your divorce, not an attorneys C hoosing an attorney that understands the way mediation works is very important. Attorneys have been trained to be adversarial, some are strong mediation advocates too. It is the attorney's job to read over the proposed papers for their clients and ascertain if they seem fair. Both participants in a divorce must have an attorney. If anything seems unfair or one sided, the couple will mediate those issues, in question, again. If they have worked out this issue and it is all right with them, then the attorney needs to listen to the client. Fairness to both people is extremely important. This provides an atmosphere for both the adults to begin their lives again and to maintain a stable environment for their kids.Remember to try communication over and over. Get help if you are stuck. |
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